I’m eating with
flatware I
accidentally stole
from my job.
It’s not like
I meant to
bring it home
with me.
One day,
I was eating lunch,
and then it was time
to go back to
work.
Well, I’ll tell you,
that fork just got shoved
into my lunch bag.
“This is where our money goes,”
the manager at
the restaurant where
I had waited tables told us.
“This is where your raises go,”
he said,
gesturing toward the trash.
Replacing forks,
ramekins,
and salt shakers
that patrons steal or
staff throw away
by accident
but don’t
care enough to
dive into
the garbage to
retrieve are
apparently more
costly than
we know.
Is a fork
enough to
bankrupt
a company?
Is a ramekin
enough to
upend
a corporation?
Is a salt shaker
enough to
bring a financial giant
to its knees?
If so,
I’m going to
start drinking
my morning coffee at
Koch industries.
I’m going to
eat my lunch at
the NRA headquarters.
I’m going to
take my
afternoon snack in
the break room at
Hobby Lobby.
I’m going to
eat dinner in
the commons at
Breitbart.
Fork by fork,
ramekin by ramekin,
salt shaker by salt shaker,
I’m going to
bring the
tyrants down.
Brilliant! Who knew by sending out undercover salt shaker stealers- the SSS- we could put Hobby Lobby under!!!
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